Forge: n., v.tr.
- A furnace where metals are heated or wrought.
- A workshop where pig iron is transformed into wrought iron.
- To form by heating in a forge and beating or hammering into shape.
- To give form or shape to, especially by means of careful effort.
The problem that most of us have when we write dialogue is that we put too much on the page. We are driven by the need to be sure the reader “gets it.” That need leads the writer to fill in all the gaps. But what we are doing, in fact, is propping up dialogue that, if done well, doesn’t need the props. In writing dialogue, it is often true that “less is more.”
In the second chapter of Writing Dialogue, from Story Press, Tom Chiarella says, “Good dialogue rises out of the way a writer makes use of individual techniques, such as interruption, silences, echoing, reversals, shifts in tone and pace, idiom, and detail.”
We have all read good dialogue that uses these techniques, but may not have stopped to think about how they work. Let’s look at the first four of the techniques mentioned by Chiarella, which are fairly easy to demonstrate. Each of the following is a two-line dialogue between two characters:
“Look, you may not like it but—“
“No, I don’t like it at all.”
“Just tell me what the problem is.”
She looked away and said nothing.
“Stop, or I’ll punch your face.”
“Punch my face? And then what?”
Reversals are a little trickier: It might be when a conversation suddenly goes sour or goes in an unexpected direction or when one of the speakers drops a little bomb on the other:
“Tonight was the beautiful. Candlelight. Cabernet.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “Johnny, I’m leaving you.”
One of the best-known dialogues in all of short fiction, from “Hills Like White Elephants,” by Ernest Hemingway, shows how a master uses these four techniques. There are only two characters in the story, and the whole story is dialogue—an argument, the topic of which is never stated directly. The two characters are sitting at an isolated train station surrounded by desert, drinking, waiting for the train:
“I don’t want you to do anything that you don’t want to do—“
“Nor that isn’t good for me,” she said. “I know. Could we have another beer?”
“All right. But you’ve got to realize—“
“I realize,” the girl said. “Can’t we maybe stop talking?”
They sat down at the table and the girl looked across at the hills on the dry side of the valley and the man looked at her and at the table.
“You’ve got to realize,” he said, “that I don’t want you to do it if you don’t want to. I’m perfectly willing to go through with it if it means anything to you.”
“Doesn’t it mean anything you you? We could get along.”
“Of course it does. But I don’t want anybody but you. I don’t want any one else. And I know it’s perfectly simple.”
“Yes, you know its perfectly simple.”
“It’s all right for you to say that, but I do know it.”
“Would you do something for me now?”
“I’d do anything for you.”
“Would you please please please please please please please stop talking?”
It doesn’t take long for Interruption to show up, twice in the first four lines. Silence appears not when a character doesn’t answer, but when the girl asks the man to stop talking in line four, followed by silence. Repetition occurs when the man says, “I know it’s perfectly simple,” and the girl replies, “Yes, you know it’s perfectly simple.” And finally, there is a big reversal of expectation in the final two lines. Interruption, Silence, Repetition, and Reversal. Simple techniques that we can all use to strengthen dialogue.